Friday, January 19, 2007

Blocking out the pain

No, I'm not referring to nerve blocks. Last night my husband's RSD was flaring because of the bad weather. I had done what I could for him and we had gone to bed. He was making a little noise due to the pain, but this is not unusual and was not cause for alarm. I was watching TV and drifting off and he complained that I must be just tuning him out. It was his way of asking for a little attention, but it got me thinking.

I do have to block out his pain a lot of the time. As any person who has a loved one with RSD knows, they are always in pain. And watching someone you love enduring never-ending pain is not fun nor easy. So, because the world did not stop with a RSD diagnosis, you have things that must get done. Our son has to be cared for. I have to work. Phone calls have to be made and bills must be paid. If I spent all of my time watching my husband suffer, everything would fall apart. That isn't what either of us wants. So, when I have things that must be done, I block his suffering from my mind. It does not mean I care any less or that I'm a bad caregiver. It means that I take care of things that are necessary, so that I can spend time with him, giving him the empathy and attention that he needs when he needs it.

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